New Skill From Shizuru

Last time I told you that I like Shizuru Fujino, a character from Mai-Hime, because she always smiles and stay calm. And No one can predict what she was thinking or going to do. Do you know what they called that smiling that always appears on her face? They called it ICE MASK. Now I just know what it means. ICE MASK prefers to a mask that you can put it over your face when you want to without someone notices you are wearing it. But it could hide your feeling or your true self well from everyone who you don’t want them to understand about you. After I knew about this ICE MASK, I think that it is good for me to be able to create my own mask because I don’t like the idea that you would know what I was thinking just to look at my face or into my eyes. Now I think I am capable to do that but I am just the beginner because on the day I realized that ADYL forgot my birthday, at the second I stepped in my English class my classmate suddenly know that I was very upset. Anyway, I will train to become an expert of ICE MASK master like Shizuru.

Mes excuses à vous….

These texts below should be posted last two weeks but I was not in the mood and unable to post them at the same time. Last two weeks, I was busy with my English and French works. I had test in these schools at the some week so I must spend a lot of time preparing for my upcoming exams specially my French examination. You know my French is very bad so I should spend more times to learn it myself at home. Then I felt a little more confidence with my self to take that test. But now, I still have other three French homework, I manage to go to internet, though. One more thing that make me upset is the lace of greeting message from ADYL. On my birthday, I always wait for that kind of messages from this person in particular because this person is famous not to pay much attention to other’s business. Most of the things this one did for others just in the politeness; and if Adyl remembered my birthday it means I am special. As a result, could you tell what I got? This person forgot my birthday. I was mad. Anyway, I’m better now because it is not the first time this person made me disappointed.

The METS Project

This is a novel I read a few days ago. It talks about a team of scientists work on a project called METS. METS stands on Mutation an Egg to a Sperm. I was very happy because I knew that there is someone who had the same theory as mine. And I was thinking if this fiction really becomes reality it means two women can reproduce an offspring so number of homophobic will be decrease.

But to think about the possibility of this novel, it is almost unnecessary because to change a big sphere egg to a small sperm that have a head and a tail is not easy as we think it is. Moreover, natural fecundation need thousands sperms and a women could not have such that number of eggs to change into sperms. In the novel the result of that experiment only 30 or 40 of 56 eggs can successfully become sperms so this fecundation can be successful? To be honest, I really don’t know much about making woman become pregnant artificially so I am not sure if we have only a little sperms we can fertilize or not. One more thing that I think is impossible is in the end of the story Michiru bore a son that is the final result of the experiment. As I know female sexual chromosome is XX and male is XY. Each egg only contains one X of two and artificial sperms have been change only their shape but their chromosomes are originally kept. Then, if an artificial sperm fertilize with an egg the new life is absolutely female. Is it possible that her baby is male?

One the other hand, when I was studying my first year at the University of Health Science, I learnt about reproduction and fecundation. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t learn about this subject back then in high school but I just understand clearly every detail of this topic. Then, I think that if the chromosome of an egg can cross the three membranes of the other egg in order to mix its chromosomes with another one like a spermatozoid deliver its chromosomes cross egg’s membranes. It means two women can have their offspring since they already had their own uterus to stock the fetus. But we need a lot of chemical to make the chromosomes of those eggs synthesize before they mix into each other. Another problem is in my theory we need two mature eggs of two women but a women can have a mature egg only once a month and it is not easy to make two women have a mature egg at the same time. One more thing mature eggs have a short life time. They are last long only 24 to 48 hours. Moreover a woman has only 400 to 500 mature eggs in their life time. So it is difficult to have enough eggs to make experiment. But as a human we should be optimistic. If it is possible when I became a qualified doctor I will try to research about this problem because I want to make this one wish of a lot of lesbians comes true. This wish is being able to live and bear their own child like normal couple in the world.

Relaxation Skills

This is the promise I made last time when I post TEN WAY TO STAY HEALTHY. And I know that most of the visitor of my blog have a busy life style so I want to share this experience to you all after I read it from a health handbook. HERE IT IS!

When learning relaxation skills, you must remove yourself from all outside distractions. It may take some practice to become comfortable with these techniques. Once you’ve trained your body and mind to relax (two to three weeks), you’ll be able to produce the some relaxed state whenever you want.

The following three methods of relaxation and meditation are among the simplest and most effective. They should be done twice a day for about 20 minutes. Pick a time and place where you won’t be disturbed or distracted.

Roll Breathing

The object of roll breathing is to develop full use of your lungs and get in touch with the rhythm of your breathing. It can be practiced in any position, but it is best to learn it lying on your back, with your knees bent.
1. Place your left hand on your abdomen and your right hand on your chest. Notice how your hands move as you breathe in and out.

2. Practice foiling your lower lungs by breathing so that your left hand goes up when you inhale and your right hand remains still. Always inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

3. When you have filled and emptied your lower lungs 8 to 10 times, add the second step to your breathing: inhale first into your lower lungs as before, and then continue inhaling into your upper chest. As you do so, your right hand will rise and your left hand will fall a little as your abdomen falls.

4. As you exhale slowly through your mouth, make a quiet, whooshing sound as first your left hand and then your right hand falls. As you exhale, feel the tension leaving your body as you become more and more relaxed.

5. Practice breathing in and out in this manner for three to five minutes. Notice that the movement of your abdomen and chest is like rolling waves rising and falling in a rhythmic motion.

Practice roll breathing daily for several weeks until you can do it almost anywhere, providing you with an instant relaxation tool any time you need one.

CAUTION: Some people get dizzy the first few times they try roll breathing. If you begin to hyperventilate (Lose too much carbon dioxide) or become lightheaded (slightly dizzy or euphoric), slow your breathing. Get up slowly.

Sorry I think I should not post all methods at once because it is a little bit too long so I will post others next time instead.

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

For me, my friend is the most precious thing that God had blessed me. They are the most important part of my experiences that stimulated me to became today Theary. If I didn’t have them, instead of a normal girl I might be a psychotic patient. They have always helped me to forget almost every terrible thing which I can’t handle by myself. They always give me the warm feeling that I didn’t sense from my family. But sometimes, they also make me madden like secretly peeking my diary when I was not in the classroom or destroying my possessions. And the biggest one that I will not forget the rest of my life they abandoned me on the result announcement day of our graduation specially that girl. But I still like her as my friend.

Even though, I still want to say a word that I don’t have enough courage to show nor speak to them face to face “THANK YOU, MY FRIENDS”.

NOTE: If you can meet me face to face please don’t leave comment or remind me about this text when you talk with me because I will feel awkward. Thanks.

The Firth Birthday Cake of My Life

This is the first birthday cake of my life.

It doesn’t mean that I’ve never eaten cake nor celebrate my birthday. Usually, my mom just cooks a lot of food or buys something in particular to celebrate my birthday so we’ve never had cake to eat on my family members’ birthday. Instead, this year my mom doesn’t do anything special I think maybe because of this year my birthday is on the last day of Chinese New Year. I mean everything is special already.

However, this year, my friends did surprise me by buying a cute chocolate cake for me to celebrate my birthday. I felt great because the first one of my life had ingredient of love and warm feeling from my close and best friends instead a cold one from my dad. One more, they made me believe that they always remember and will never forget mine even I will live far away from them. But at the some minutes, I feel lack of something which I don’t know what that has power to cause me feel this way. Furthermore, I feel a little disappointed because my friends forgot something important I told them. If I can change something that happened already, I want them to give that thing as my birthday present instead of the cake because I can bring it everywhere I can go. It can remind me every happy memory of my friends every time I use it. Especially, that thing is cheaper than cake so they can save some money since I know that neither of us can earn money by ourselves.